


Dressed for the Occasion

by Boomchick



Series: Tumblr Prompts [6]
Category: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Remnants - Freeform, Timeline? What Timeline?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boomchick/pseuds/Boomchick
Summary: A prompt fill from TumblrKadaj, Loz, and Yazoo go on a rather unusual string of quests in Wall Market…
Series: Tumblr Prompts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774831
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Enide_Dear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enide_Dear/gifts).



> One of a series of prompts written on Tumblr for those who are supporting the BLM movement. This one was requested by enide-s-dear.tumblr.com
> 
> If you've donated, protested, or otherwise supported black lives, you can come and make a request too! https://boomchickfanfiction.tumblr.com/

“What,” Yazoo said, the word dripping with distaste so heavily that it leaked onto the rest of the sentence without the need for further inflection “are we supposed to find here?”

“Information, brother.” Kadaj said with a chuckle, spreading his hands as if the streets before them were a buffet. “A bounty of information.”

“Those chocobos might have some information.” Loz suggested hopefully, glancing back at the gates behind them. “I could go talk to the chocobos.”

“We’re not here to play.” Kadaj sighed, dropping his arms in frustration as his brothers refused to be impressed with his idea.

A suspicious snuffle from behind him to his left. A put-upon sigh from his right.

“Don’t–”

“I’m not crying!” Loz yelled before Yazoo could even finish his sentence. “Let’s just do this.”

“I assume you have an idea of where to go?” Yazoo asked, obviously preening as people on the streets stared at the picture the three of them made.

“Straight to the top.” Kadaj said.

________

“No.” Leslie said, arms crossed, staring blankly at the three of them.

“What!?” Kadaj yelled, loud enough to wake the entirety of Wall Market, if Wall Market was the sort of place that slept.

“You heard me.” Leslie said, waving his hand. “Don only sees ladies, and only by appointment from Sam, Madame M, or Andrea.”

“I can make you regret this,” Yazoo purred, clawing his hand, feeling the shadows bubbling up from the ground eager to devour. Loz’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Better not.” Loz whispered. “Look at his hair.”

Leslie found himself pinned by three deeply in-human stares as the intruders looked him up and down.

“Very well, brother.” Kadaj said after he’d looked his fill. “But this is not over.”

The very first guy they tried to torture just told them what they wanted to know without them having to torture or anything. Kadaj found the whole thing deeply disappointing. Yazoo was just as happy not to have another mess to deal with. Loz was over the moon.

“Chocobo Sam.” He whispered, starry-eyed. “When this is over and we rule the world, think I can be ‘chocobo Loz?’”

“You aim too low.” Kadaj said.

“And too strangely.” Yazoo added.

“I call Chocobo Sam!” Loz cried, and sprinted off.

“Well.” Yazoo sighed. “I suppose I should speak to Andrea Rhodea.”

“Why you?” Kadaj snapped.

“Because you’re too cute.” Yazoo purred, eyes narrowed in cruel pleasure at his brother’s expense. “And there’s an age limit. They’d never let you in.”

“Fine.” Kadaj muttered. “Have fun getting groped by bees. I’ll talk to this Madame M.”

He got a text before he’d even reached her house. From Loz. “I GOT TO PET A CHOCOBO!”

“Mission!” he typed out in reply.

Another message before he could open her door. Yazoo this time. “Oh, they’re taking me straight back to see him! Apparently he has a fine eye for aesthetics.”

“Mission!” Kadaj texted back, gritting his teeth.

“Oh my,” The woman behind the counter said as he walked through the door. “What a surprise. Having a customer without an appointment. And so young. Are you sure you’re in the right place?”

“Are you Madame M?” Kadaj asked, turning his cruel smile on her, rolling his shoulders back to make sure she saw his sword. “I came to talk about Don Corneo.”

That, as it turned out, was a mistake. But he managed to earn the screaming woman’s forgiveness with a few hundred gil and by letting her take out her aggression on his poor sword hand…

“Well,” She sighed. “There’s only one way to see the Don. But I might be able to arrange it. Do you know how to use that sword, little kitten?”

Kadaj texted the other two.

“Yes!” Loz replied. “Fighting!”

“Can’t.” Yazoo replied. “I’m busy.”

It didn’t turn out to be a problem. The Colosseum was a pushover.

“Any leads with Chocobo Sam?” Kadaj asked as he picked splinters of the hell house out of his hair.

“Yeah!” Loz said. “He said he can get me in to see the Don tonight. What about you?”

“Same. We’ll meet up there.”

“What about Yazoo?” Loz asked. “Will he be able to secure an endorsement from that Andrea?”

Kadaj checked his phone. Yazoo had sent seventeen selfies of himself posing with a beautiful man matching Andrea’s description.

“If he doesn’t I’m finding a new brother.” Kadaj muttered, stomping back to Madame M’s.

_________

“…Huh.” Leslie said, blinking at the sight before him. “Well…”

“Endorsements!” Kadaj snapped, shoving his into the man’s hands.

His dress was REDICULOUS. Pink and petal soft and girlish. He’d thought he looked nice in it until he saw YAZOO. Stupid Yazoo. Stupid, beautiful, perfect Yazoo and his black and blue corset and his full skirt and his delicate neck under that pretty black ribbon. Unfair, unfair, unfair! They were both pieces of Sephiroth, so why had he gotten the height and the LOOKS?

“Aw, come on.” Loz said, tilting his head. His dress was tight, his bulky thighs visible through extremely high slits up the leopard print sides. Kadaj didn’t know where the chocobo guy had gotten silver buns to make his hair look look, but they were pinned on his head, and the heels he wore had sent him straight over the edge from 'huge’ to 'towering.’ “We’re all pretty, Kadaj. Don’t be mad.”

“Maybe,” Yazoo said mildly. “But we all know he’s going to pick me.”

“As if,” Kadaj hissed. “You try too hard! Clearly he’ll pick me!”

“Well I think you both look nice,” Loz said, nodding sagely to himself.

“Why do I feel like I’m going to get fired for this.” Leslie muttered, even as he sent the three bickering weirdos inside. Far be it from him to deny the Don a little misery.

A couple hours later, standing over the corpse of the Don’s monster in the sewers, still in their beautiful dresses, the brothers took stock.

“Well,” Yazoo said after a moment. “The dress really does bring out your natural figure.”

“It was the high slits.” Kadaj cursed, scowling at his sweet, innocent dress. “I knew I should have had a high slit in my dress.”

“Um,” said Loz uncertainly, “It wasn’t like I wanted to be picked…”

“Of course not.” Yazoo sighed.

“you just don’t understand.” Kadaj huffed. “Let’s get out of here and get our clothes back from those weirdos.

"You both HAVE to meet Andrea,” Yazoo said as he picked his way through the dirty sewers in his nice shoes, skirt lifted. “He taught me the most wonderful dance.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This continuation was requested by https://icedefloweringtornado.tumblr.com/!

"Now.” Said Andrea, hands on his hips, looking them over. “When you said you were ‘part of a set,’ somehow this isn’t what I was expecting.”

“Aren’t they perfect?” Yazoo sighed pleasantly, toeing off his shoes.

“You got to hang out here?” Kadaj objected. “I had my hand tortured by a madwoman! I had to fight in the coliseum!”

“I thought you liked torture.” Yazoo said, lifting his brows.

“I thought you liked fighting!” Loz added.

Andrea clapped his hands twice, and all three of them lifted their wild eyes to him.

“All of that is well and good, my beautiful guests. But you appear to have run afoul of our friend Don Corneo. Did he find your company less than inspiring?”

“The Don,” Yazoo huffed. “Has terrible taste. And a monster in the sewers.”

“Well,” Loz added, “he USED to.”

“I have no problem with trying to kill us,” Kadaj hissed. “But the SEWERS?”

“My sentiments exactly,” Andrea said, unfolding a fan that must have been tucked into his belt in the back. “This simply will not do.”

He snapped, and only Yazoo didn’t jump as a series of smiling men and women, the ladies in honeybee outfits and the men gloriously outfitted in cream tuxedos, leapt to Andrea’s beck and call.

“Darlings,” Andrea said, blowing a kiss as if he was a Shiva summon. “Time for another makeover.”

“How,” Kadaj said flatly, staring straight ahead, wrapped up in a silk robe with his hair drying under a towel. “Did they do that?”

“I know.” Yazoo sighed, slumping back leisurely in the chair he’d been deposited in, admiring his new nail polish. “Aren’t they efficient?”

“That was fun.” Loz whispered, beaming. “Let’s go again. Can we go again?”

“We’re still on a mission.” Kadaj objected, shaking his head to get himself back together. A couple strands of silver hair sprung out of the his towel on his head.

Yazoo sighed. “But we haven’t even danced yet.”

Loz turned huge puppy eyes to Kadaj. Why, Kadaj thought, pinned by both of their gazes at once, had he ended up in charge? Why me, Mother?

She didn’t answer. So he caved. Dancing… Did sound like it might be fun.

“Darlings,” Andrea said, flush and delighted. “I’m in love!”

Yazoo had been right. Dancing was fun. It was electric, following Andrea’s lead, mako senses allowing them to be only moments behind. Improvising as they felt the rhythm and movement together. They were a trio through and through, though Andrea made for a capable fourth in the dance. Kadaj added him to his short list of potential brothers when Reunion arrived.

“That was fun.” Loz panted. “Think we can convince big brother to come some time?”

“I doubt it,” Yazoo scoffed.

“Brother?” Asked Andrea, sauntering closer with easy, swinging steps. “There’s four of you?”

“Yes,” Said Kadaj, at the same moment Loz said “Kind of” and Yazoo said “He’s adopted.”

Kadaj glared at Yazoo, but the willowy remnant was completely unrepentant.

“If he dances like you, bring him by.” Andrea said, waving a hand at one of the tuxedoed men who’d been watching them dance. “I’ll have you all on my list of treasured guests.”

“Then we can bring big brother back for some fun!” Loz enthused.

“I don’t think Cloud knows the meaning of fun,” Kadaj chuckled. “Besides. We still have to FIND him.”

“Oh,” Andrea said, blinking. “Cloud? He comes here all the time. He’s one of my favorite dance partners.”

All three of the brothers blinked at Andrea. And then smiled very, very widely at their new best friend and the information he was sure to have.

They left still wearing their cream suits and top hats, waving goodbye to the staff, and all but skipped through Wall Market, heading towards Sector Seven with a spring in their steps and a lot of new questions for their dear adopted brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and for the request!  
> Please donate to https://atlsolidarity.org/ if you can to support my local BLM movement!


End file.
